Power ( Part 11 ) - The Power of Identification
Gooday Readers, Today we are going to discuss "The Power of Identification"
You will maximize your negotiating ability if you get others to identify with you.
Let me explain. Why do you prefer one store to another in the same shopping center? Why do you take your car to the same service service station time after a time ? why do you have your checking account at one bank and not another?
In the business world, why do you Deal with one company and not its competitors?
It's not just because of Quality, Convenience, Price, or Cost Factors. What tips the scale one way or the other is your degree of Identification with the people you come in contact with or are exposed to.
If someone at Macy's make you feel good, Important, or at least comfortable and understands your needs, you'll identify with and favor Macy's, even if Bloomingdale's offers something that looks better.
That's why your ability to have others identify with you is crucial, whomever you're dealing with and for whatever reasons.
For example, much of the success of the IBM Corporation from the professionalism of their people, not just in appearance but in their approach to customers. Several years ago, I asked a corporate client why they purchased and expensive system from IBM rather than from one of it's competitors.
My Client responded, "We could have got it cheaper elsewhere, and technically the IBM quality was not the best. However, it's a complex system, and we know that if we got into trouble they would help us."
Now that's Identification.
How do you get others to identify with you? If you act as a Professional and Reasonable Person in dealing with people you can gain their cooperation, loyalty, and respect. Don't pull rank or overplay your authority.
Rather, try to convey understanding and empathy. Speak to the other person's needs, hopes, dreams, and aspirations.
Approach each person on human level with the hope that you can help them solve their problem. If you exhibit this behavior you will release a subtle, persuasive kind of power reminiscent of the magic appeal of the Pied Piper of Hamelin.
When we speak of leadership and charisma we are often talking about individuals who conduct themselves in such a respected fashion that they inspire emulation. Those who follow a leader, sometimes at great sacrifice, so identify with that person that they feel that his/her triumphs are their own!
History is replete with examples from Buddha and Christ to General Dwight Eisenhower and Mother Teresa. Although hardly in the same class, media stars owe their popularity to the widespread identification that they engender, Johnny Carson, host of the Tonight Show on Television, may need a trailer truck to hold his money, but he comes across on your TV screen as likeable, decent, open, and honest with his feelings.
His self-deprecating wit makes him human and transmits empathetic vibes into living rooms and bedrooms across North America. We Like Him.
The power of Identification exists in all interpersonal relationships including business transactions and politics. For instance, I'm sometimes in situation where I'm exposed to several experts who take turns discussing an issue's many aspects.
What I normally do-in addition to relying on my homework-is to give more credence to the statements of a person I know and respect: A person with a Proven Track Record. I go along, when feasible, with his/her feelings and insights, because I Trust and identify with him or her.
We rarely admit to or talk about this Identification, but it's a Big Factor in our decisions from the stereo we purchase to the political candidate we support. Where data and facts abound and issues are complex, we are all influenced by those with whom we can identify.
As a Result, people may even vote against their own economic self-interest because they can Identify strongly with a Political Candidate.
Identification also works in reverse. One person may be right on the issues but in such a Bigot and so Obnoxious that he/she completely turns us off. Many people vote for candidate A not because of any degree of Affinity, but because they cannot stomach candidate B. This is True in all of our dealings and decision making.
A couple of decades ago, when My Friend got out of school, there was a recession in US. No one told him there was a recession, so when he couldn't get a job he took it personally. 10 years Later, when he learned there had been a recession at that Time, he felt much better.
After a short period of unemployment he went to work for the Legal Aid Society, defining indigent people charged with petty crimes.
One of the first people he represented was a man accused of burglary. As he look back on the case he believe he was probably guilty. Why do he said that?
- He had given 2 separate confessions to 2 different Law-enforcement agencies;
- He had left his fingerprints all over the stolen television set.
- When he was apprehended he was watching the stolen television set.
Regardless of the odds, My Friend was young and conscientious and attempted to see that his client received his Full Rights under the Law. In trying to establish a defense He went to visit the defendant in prison. After several interviews in which he constantly changed his story and alibi, it was evident to me that his client was stupid and a liar.
He hesitated to put him on the witness stand because He knew the contradictions in his story would be easily exposed.
Since my friend had to put someone on the stand to testify for him, he selected his mother. Mothers will always testify for their children, whatever the circumstances. My Friend's Client's Mother was quite presentable: A gray-haired old lady with thick glasses and a cane-the type of woman one automatically helps across streets.
After she was guided to the witness chair, My friend started to question her. Within 2 minutes, it was evident that his client's problem was, in part, genetic. The mother was also stupid and a Liar. She contradicted herself 4 times in 120 seconds.
My friend told me his mouth went dry, and he sat down, knowing in his heart that the case was Lost.
For some strange reason the prosecutor was not willing to leave well enough alone. He confronted the elderly lady and began a sharp cross-examination. Apparently he not only wanted to find her son, the defendant, guilty, but he wanted to find the defendant very guilty, super guilty, one of the most guilty defendants ever tried in the court.
In attempting to discredit the mother as a witness. he practiced what we now call overkill. He baited the old lady, badgered her, shouted at her, berated her. She broke down and whimpered. Then she sobbed and as she wiped the tears from her eyes, her glasses fell from her face. Stepping back, the prosecutor accidently crushed her spectacles under his heel.
After hastily calling a recess, the judge gestured to my friend to help the now hysterical old lady down from the stand. As he did so, He happened to glance at the jury. Suddenly, amazed, He knew what was about to happen. That jury loathed the prosecutor.
Now My Friend, was certain what they were thinking, "It's bad enough that this poor mother has a son who's a criminal. Does that monster of a prosecutor have to subject her to this kind of abuse too?"
The jury returned quickly with a verdict of not guilty- one of the few victories My friend had at that stage of his Life.
He didn't win that case. The other side Lost the case. Why? Because the facts were so clouded over by the prosecutor's behavior that the jury couldn't identify with either him or the valid points he tried to make. The jury's vote went contrary to the evidence presented.
More often than people care to Admit, Identification (whether with or against ) plays a significant role in negotiations and decision making. That's why behaving decently and trying to help others is the the equivalent of having a canteen of water in the Gobi Desert.
So Next we will be discussing :
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